


Trying Not To Love Jim

by Sparky_Stark



Series: Songfics [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Don't know how good it is, First Kiss, Fluff, Jim is just well Jim, M/M, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Sheriarty - Freeform, Sherlock doesn't like it when things don't make sense, Sherlock doesn't understand, Uh first time I've written this, cuteness, he's adorably confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparky_Stark/pseuds/Sparky_Stark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic to Trying Not To Love You by Nickelback.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trying Not To Love Jim

**You call to me and I fall at your feet, how could anyone ask for more? And our time apart, like knives to my heart. How could anyone ask for more?  But if there’s a pill to help me forget god knows I haven’t found it yet but I’m dying to, God I’m trying to.**

The day had gone very much the same. The phone beeped, Sherlock answered. The phone gave him a game, Sherlock played it. He just wanted to _meet_ this person. Or forget him. Forgetting would be good. He was usually so good at deleting things from his memory. He should just ignore the person taunting him and pretend it was just a normal case. Well, he wouldn’t especially be pretending if he didn’t know he was being taunted. He should just delete the information.

He really should.

But he didn’t.

Maybe if there was just something he could take to stop all of this. Maybe if John wasn’t there, he would’ve used something. Though he doubted Lestrade would help him through detox a _second_ time.

**‘Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far, and trying not to need you, is tearing me apart. Can’t see the silver lining, from down here on the floor and I just keep on trying, but I don’t know what for. ‘Cause trying not to love you, only makes me love you more. Only makes me love you more.**

When they met, it was undeniable, and it went against everything Sherlock knew to deny the obvious. The more he tried, the more noticeable it became.

_Caring is not an advantage._

**And this kind, of pain, only time takes away. That’s why it’s harder to let you go. And nothing I can do without thinking of you, that’s why it’s harder to let you go.**

Every new case, every new crime, every new criminal, Sherlock tried to find a way to link it back to him. He must have something to do with it. They had to meet again. As much as it pained him to admit it, it hurt not seeing him. The longer it went on, the more he pined for the consulting criminal.

**But if there’s a pill to help me forget god knows I haven’t found it yet but I’m drying to, God I’m trying to.**

He was so close. So close. He was so bored. No one compared to Jim Moriarty. No one. Everyone else was _boring. Dull. Tedious._

Even John.

He knew so many places he could find something. He thought back to his first case with John. ‘ _A Study in Pink’_ John had called it in his blog. There was something interesting then. He still wasn’t completely sure if he had chosen the right pill. But then, with Moriarty being as smart as he was, and Sherlock being as smart as _he_ was, he was quite safe telling John that he was right and he wouldn’t have died. Moriarty didn’t want him to.

That was, of course, assuming he had been keeping tabs on Sherlock for a longer time period than John and everyone else thought.

**‘Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far, and trying not to need you, is tearing me apart. Can’t see the silver lining, from down here on the floor and I just keep on trying, but I don’t know what for. ‘Cause trying not to love you, only makes me love you more. Only makes me love you more.**

It was probably the first thing Sherlock had ever tried to do. And failed. It was frustrating.

He didn’t see what good this was to people who cared. Caring was not an advantage. It never had been.

And yet, he found himself unequivocally attracted to one Jim Moriarty. This was tearing apart the very fabric of everything Sherlock knew. The way he lived. He couldn’t see an advantage, an upside. Not one single good thing about this situation sprang to Sherlock’s mind. Not one.

But he was trying to. He was desperately trying to find one good thing about this that would make it worth all the bad and confusion and wrongness of the situation. There was no reason why he should. He _should,_ logically, just delete the fact that he had ever met Jim Moriarty. But no, he couldn’t do that, what if he ‘consulted’ on another crime and because Sherlock had got rid of it her couldn’t solve it.

No. That just wouldn’t do.

What about just deleting the moment from his memory when this whole mess happened?

Oh, right, that was every time from the first time he had ever seen Jim. That wouldn’t work.

**So I sit here divided, just talking to myself, was it something that I did was there somebody else. When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears, sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear. Said I’ve been dying to tell you.**

“This is wrong. This is so, very wrong.” Sherlock muttered as he paced the pavement outside of 221B Baker Street. He was aware of John watching him from the window and he was aware of when John left to go to bed. It was three in the morning, after all.

He paced and paced and pace until he just collapsed. Just like that. Onto the first step of 221B Baker Street.

Had Moriarty found someone smarter than him to mess with? Was that why he hadn’t handed Sherlock a case for months? He’d kept the phone Moriarty had used to send him the messages, just in case. Had Sherlock not been clever enough to solve Moriarty’s puzzles and now he was _bored_ with him?

It didn’t make sense. Sherlock didn’t like things that don’t make sense. Sherlock really didn’t like this.

“Hello, Sherlock.” Sherlock’s heart skipped a beat. He was close to actually _jumping_ for joy… and from fright. “Didn’t scare you, did I?”

“Moriarty.” Sherlock acknowledged with a nod. Moriarty took a seat next to Sherlock on the concrete step.

“There’s something I want to tell you.”

“Hmm" Sherlock hummed. 

**That trying not to love you, only went so far. Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart. Now I see the silver lining, from what we’re fighting for, we just keep on trying, we could be much more. ‘Cause trying not to love you, only makes me love you more.**

This was making less and less sense by the second. Moriarty felt _that_ way too? Was he trying to tease Sherlock? Mock him and then kill him? Sherlock and Jim were shrouded in silence after he finished his speech.

“Come with me.” Moriarty said suddenly.

“Come with you _where_?”

“Anywhere. We could rule the world together, you and I, Sherlock. Could even surpass brother dearest.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” Sherlock said as Jim’s hand roamed its way over his back, “I think Mycroft would find us. And then kill us.”

“We could hide.”

“No we couldn’t”

“New names, new faces. I can do it, you know.”

“I don’t doubt that he wouldn’t be able to find _you_. He would, however, be able to find _me._ ” Sherlock stated.

“I. Wouldn’t. Let. Him.” Moriarty whispered possessively into Sherlock’s ear. “You’re mine. Do you understand?”

“Why?” It still didn’t make any sense to Sherlock.

“Because I can’t just not love you, Sherlock, that’s not how it works.” Jim rolled his eyes.

“I-“

“Shut up.” Jim said before he could finish his sentence and pressed his lips against Sherlock's. When he pulled back, he grinned and said, “Florida or Greece?”

**Oh, yeah, trying not to love you, only makes me love you more. Only makes me love you more, only makes me love you more**

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously need feedback on this, guys. Grammar, plot, phrasing, anything. I really want to be able to publish a book when I'm older but I can't do that without comments on my writing style. So any comments are really appreciated.
> 
> Thanks


End file.
